(Jun 5 2025) Should You Follow Your Gut?

I had fully planned to write on a completely different topic today but after a short phone call in the past hour my mind has been fixated on the concept of intent and how it affects us as musicians (and as people in general). Recently, I’ve been reaching out to a number of big band arrangers who I’ve never met just to network and hear how they go about their life. To my surprise, every single person I’ve emailed has actually responded, and even more shocking is that so far the majority have wanted to extend the conversation to a phone call too. Maybe I should have more faith in reaching out to people with similar interests to me, but that sort of hit rate has never happened when I’ve cold emailed people in the past.

Fascinatingly, today one such call came through and it blew me away. Generally, I try my best not to cast judgement on anyone (especially that I haven’t met) but unfortunately the harsh crucible of trying to carve out a career in music definitely has had unintended side effects such as often trying to fend for myself and being overly critical of myself and others. Entering into the phone call I had no set agenda but very quickly it became apparent that the other person was a completely genuine person and perhaps not what I had expected. 

Over the span of 30 minutes we talked about life and then got to some more specific music business related questions. As they responded I quickly realized I had come into the questions almost expecting a certain response, one which never came, and instead was left with an answer that made me step back and look at my own perspective of music and my place in this world. I realized it was stupid that I had somehow created a fictional expectation of someone I simply did not know anything about. After I got over my own stupidity, I was able to fully acknowledge what they were saying.

They talked about one’s place in the world and about spirituality. The main intent behind their response was the idea that the world gives back the same sort of outlook that you put out into the world. It impacted me so much because I’m very much someone that has spent years following my instincts, often when it wasn’t sensible or went against what those around me had suggested. When you do take those risks, there is never any guarantee that you are making the right choice, and the sentiment this person shared really resonated with me as one of those little strings of hope that can help you get through the challenges that arise when you take the road less traveled.

Often in the arts we are faced with tough decisions. I don’t mean the sorts of questions like, what sort of art do I want to create, but more is the art I create valuable and should I be making it at all? Back in 2012 I was faced with the first of these major decisions. I had just finished high school and had started a bachelor degree in engineering. While it was the sensible choice and the one that my mum thought was the right decision for my life, my heart wanted to pursue music. Ironically, it wasn’t the idea of pursuing music that scared me, it was the conversation with my mother that I feared.

Looking back, I can see why a parent may want their child to follow the stable path when choosing a career. My mum just wanted the best for me and a life as an engineer guaranteed a certain salary that was comfortable and socially acceptable. However, that viewpoint felt like a mountain from my end, one which I knew I had to climb if I ever wanted to pursue music. I still remember the day I had the conversation, the grueling climb up the stairs to the office and the very short talk which expectedly led to my mum shutting down the idea entirely. While it felt like a defeat at the time, I had actually made a huge personal victory as I had acted on what my heart wanted and that simple first step made every future conversation that much easier to have. Obviously I won out at the end of the day and I have since gone on to become a professional musician. 

Surprisingly, despite following what my heart so badly wanted back in 2012, I have continued to be tested every single step of the way. I really wanted to record a big band album once I graduated but I didn’t have any money nor had I done it before, and then once I had charged it all to a credit card I found myself back in Australia due to visa complications with no job, no money, and no idea what to do. While it was a crap situation, I got through it and due to those issues I ended up with opportunities I never would have had otherwise. In 2020 I risked it all on another big band production which put me in close to $30,000 AUD of debt and then the world plunged into a pandemic where all of my avenues for making money disappeared overnight. Out of that I found a love for teaching arranging online and once again saw how amazing people really are in times of need. Those are just a few of many examples I can draw from my own life, but know that every single time I’ve followed my heart and been tested, I’ve come out even better on the other side despite never knowing where I was going to end up.

So should you follow your gut? For me I get to wake up every day and know that I get to live a life where I pursue my dreams. That doesn’t mean I’m financially successful or anywhere comparable on that front to many of my counterparts who took the “sensible” route, but I get to experience life in a way where I don’t feel bound to the comfortable option where I answer to a boss I don’t like or have to work for 8 hours a day doing something that doesn’t align with my interests. While it isn’t luxury by the average standard, after hearing the complaints of so many friends and colleagues, I wouldn’t trade my experience for any of theirs. 

These days I’m still putting my money where my mouth is. I have leaned into teaching online and absolutely love every minute of it. While there is uncertainty around every time I launch a new cohort or course, I know that I’m doing it for the right reasons and will be satisfied no matter if one or twenty people register. Somehow every time just enough money seems to come in to satisfy my daily expenses, another sign that it was the right call. I never know who is going to be in a course but over the span of a couple of weeks, I gain new friends and get to see amazing transformations which I am lucky enough to celebrate with the individuals. And I know when I look back in life, I’ll be glad I got to share this time with so many wonderful people who I wouldn’t have been able to meet otherwise.

After my phone call today, what I realized is that trusting your gut comes down to your intent. If you are built on good values, then your gut will push you in directions which benefit everyone. As a result, that benefit eventually comes back to you, the only kicker is that you don’t know how or when that will take place. I believe life would be a better place if everyone listened to their heart and made those tough calls. I’ll always recommend following your gut because it has always led me to the most wonderful situations, so many of which I never would have experienced if I decided to become an engineer all those years ago.

Thanks,

Toshi